DIGGING DEEP NO. 1058 MARRIAGE, ITS BEAUTY, ITS ISSUES AND HOW TO RESOLVE THEM. GEN. 2:18

Marriage is an important part of Christian life because it is a gift from God and the right atmosphere to engage in sexual relations and to build a family life. Christians believe that getting married in a church, in front of God, is very important because it is a public declaration of love and commitment. Marriage is also important because it symbolizes the union of Christ and the church. Through marriage, Christians learn about love, respect, honor, and how to forgive and be forgiven, and they draw closer to God.

With each passing year, more and more people claim that marriage is “archaic” and “old school.” Marriage rates across America have drastically dropped in the last decade, and divorce rates have risen.

Statistics show that marriage is getting pushed off to later in life or pushed off indefinitely, and many are wondering, “are there really any benefits of marriage?” The answer is a loud “Yes!”, especially for the Christian life!

BENEFITS OF MARRIAGE

1. Marriage Gives Us a Helper

From the beginning of humanity, God saw that it was not good for man to stay single. Genesis 2:18 says, “The Lord God said, ‘It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him.’”

Adam was alone with God in a perfect garden. No sin. No worry or fear. No thoughts about how will God provide, do we have enough money, what will happen in the future? Adam was alone with God forever. That sounds like heaven, except for one thing. God said, “It is not good for man to be alone” Genesis 2:18.

According to God, this union between man and woman was a gift and for us to be with God together. Only after he created Eve did God say, “This is very good. “

God is our ultimate source of help, and yet he is the one who claimed that man needed another human helper. God knows that there is a massive physical, emotional, financial, mental, and spiritual benefit to having two humans mutually dedicated to one another.

Yes, we have God, but He designed us to need another “human” support system as well, and marriage is the ultimate support system. Look what Solomon, the wisest man ever to live, says about this.

Two are better than one, because they have a good return for their labor: If either of them falls down, one can help the other up. But pity anyone who falls and has no one to help them up. Also, if two lie down together, they will keep warm. But how can one keep warm alone? Though one may be overpowered, two can defend themselves. A cord of three strands is not quickly broken Ecclesiastes 4:9-12.

Think about it practically. We have someone else with us to help us share the load of life. Help us pay the bills, get groceries, cook meals, do laundry, mow the lawn, care for the house, fix cars

If we fall emotionally or mentally, we have someone present who can help us process, listen to us, tell us what is true in our thoughts and hearts, or what may be a lie we believe. Spiritually, we have someone to fight alongside in prayer and discover more of God with.

We have to all admit, we need a helper, and the greatest helper in our life is our spouse.

2. Marriage Preaches the Gospel

Throughout Scripture, God calls himself our husband Isaiah 54:5. As we learn to love our spouse, it reminds us of how Jesus loves us. When we are selfless and serve our spouse, it points to how Jesus served us. As we forgive our spouse, we remember he forgave us.

As we laugh together, we remember his joy over us, and as we cry together, remember his tears with us. The truth is that every aspect of married life points to our union with Christ.

Marriage, daily, preaches the gospel to us and all of those watching us. Our children, neighbors, and coworkers were always meant to see how we love our spouse and realize, “wow, that is how Jesus loves us.”

When Paul gives us instructions on being married, he always points it back to Christ. Watch how many times he compares marriage to our relationship with Jesus.

Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything. Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her to make her holy, cleansing her by the washing with water through the word, and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless. In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself Ephesians 5:22-28.

One of the most significant benefits of marriage is that it makes us more like Christ! Is there any greater benefit than that?

3. Marriage Sharpens Us

Have you ever seen a blacksmith sharpening a sword? When it is dull, he holds it up to another piece of metal and presses them against each other. Sparks fly as the metal grinds against metal, and rough edges chip off. Proverbs 27:17.

It’s a painful process for metal, but the result? A sharp blade ready for battle. Marriage will sharpen us like nothing else. Our spouse will see us when no one else does.

We can put on a face at work or the coffee shop, but when we are tired, at home, and the day is done, the side of us that we are trying to hide will come out.

The same goes for how we spend our time, finances, and every other detail of our life. There is no more hiding it from people. All of these sides of us that are rough around the edges will get exposed, and our spouse will be right there to rub against us, keep us accountable and chip them off.

Sparks may fly, fights may happen, pain may occur, but if we both have hearts to grow and submit to the Lord’s hand, He will sharpen and sanctify us into who He wants us to be.

4. Marriage Answers Our Sexual Desire

The world’s culture paints a perverted view of sexuality. Many churches, though, haven’t responded well to it. Instead of showing God’s heart for sex, we have shamed it, acting as though it is from the devil.

The truth is that God created sex and claimed that it is good and should be highly honored. The Apostle Paul even declares that marriage is the answer to sexual immorality and urges married couples to have sex to escape sexual temptation from Satan 1 Corinthians 7:2–5.

That does not sound like a God who thinks sex is wrong. On the contrary, God is the one who gave humans a sex drive and created a way for it to be fulfilled. The answer is marriage! Marriage is the only way to fulfill our sex drive in a godly manner.

Outside of marriage, sex is considered a sin and destroys our hearts, bodies, and connection with God. But within marriage, sex is a beautiful gift from God to bring union, connection, healing, trust, and so much more between our spouse and us.

In-spite of the above-mentioned benefits and importance of marriage, the enemy has managed to inject obstacles to a fruitful and prosperous marriage. We should identify them and then try to address them, a problem identified is half solved.

 

COMMUNICATION

• What are some of the causes of lack of communication- how does silence and non-responsiveness affect healthy communication?
• how do you communicate with a nagging spouse
• how do you learn to communicate with your spouse
• What time is best to discuss important marital issues?

LIFE STAGES

• Many people do not consider their life changes when it comes to marriage, but this is a common issue in marriage. how do you deal with the following life changes

1. significant age difference
2. illness or disability

BOREDOM

• Boredom is a severe but underrated marital issue in marriage. How do you resolve issues of boredom in the marriage

JEALOUSY

• What do you do if you have an overly jealous partner and this is putting a strain on the relationship

 

TRYING TO CHANGE EACH OTHER

• How would you address a situation when one partner is trying to change the other partner, make them live according to their values and culture with complete disregard for the other partner’s values.

 

TECHNOLOGY AND SOCIAL MEDIA

• My spouse is consumed with social media and technology at the expense of our relationship. I am often ignored, and very little attention is given to me.

UNREALISTIC EXPECTATION

A mismatch between a couple about the future out of a relationship creates a lot of room for a build-up of unrealistic expectation, how do I handle my spouse’s unrealistic expectation of me or how does a spouse make their unrealistic expectations more realistic.

VALUES AND BELIEFS

• What would happen if both spouses had different belief systems, different morals, and goals. Muslim/Christian, Pentecostal/non-Pentecostal

KEEPING SCORES

• My spouse is a historian. She remembers all the things I have done wrong; each time we have an argument they pull the list and start from the beginning. How do I handle that

SEX AND INTIMACY

• My spouse uses sex as a weapon how do I resolve that.
• My spouse has low sex drive and I have very high sex drive.
• My spouse has a medical condition that affects their ability to have sex or satisfying sex advise.
• My spouse just want sex and leave with no fore play

LACK OF ATTENTION

• My spouse pays more attention to strangers than to me

LACK OF APPRECIATION

• my spouse shows lack of gratitude, recognition, and acknowledgement of my contributions to the marriage.

LACK OF TRUST

• because of past history I find it difficult to trust my spouse and it is affecting our marriage what can I do

TRAUMATIC SITUATION

• when couples go through traumatic incidents it adds more problems to their marriage for instance childbearing, loss and illness and stress. How can that be resolved.

FINANCES

• My spouse refuses to maintain joint finances with me, they insist on having a separate financial life. I don’t know how much they make or what assets they have.

INLAWS

• my spouse allows his relatives to disrespect me. He prefers his parents and siblings over me. Whenever we agree on something, he consults with them and when they say no its no, no matter what my feelings are